Welcome, Travelers, to the Editorial lane on the Black Information Highway and The Mid-South Tribune ONLINE...Welcome, Travelers, to the 21st Century Underground Railroad...Subscribe FREE today to the BIHMST Channel on YouTube..."Where there is no vision, the people will perish"...

 

Search for:

 

 

 

Entertainment BIH LanesMain Lane States Lane   Adobe Reader

Findings

Editorials

Lanes

Op/Ed

Black History

BIH Programs

Black Information Highway Blog

BIHMST Channel on YouTube

Business & Economics

Black Paper

 
 
 

 

Posted January 20, 2016

Travelers, to op/ed in PDF

Politically Incorrect Naughtiness and Year End Mutterings

By Arelya J. Mitchell, Publisher/Editor-in-Chief

The Mid-South Tribune and the Black Information Highway

 

 It’s that end time of year again when one looks back to see what one would like to change and look forward to changing what one had looked back to change but continued to look forward to changing as each end of the year begins. Now if this doesn’t make all that much sense, then that’s pretty much the status of most New Year’s resolutions.

So anyway, I am going to take my chances at being naughty and politically incorrect in my year end mutterings and not offend anyone. Here goes:

 

            I heard when Secretary Kerry was on the phone to Iran trying to get back the 10 sailors who were taken by the Iranians, someone said that they overheard Kerry saying, “The check is in the mail.”

           

            ***

            Then there’s the rumor that the Iranians felt they’d better take that deal of a $100-plus billion and run, just in case Donald Trump becomes president.

           

***

           

I hear that Karl Rove is coming out even stronger to attack Hillary Clinton. Now I find that surprising because I’d heard that Karl was slated to be the face of Dog TV, but the bitches complained so he was let go.

 

 ***

The rich get richer and the poor get whiter.

 

***

            In the latest Fox Business debate, there was this back forth between Trump and Cruz about Cruz not being qualified to run for president because he was born in Canada. Cruz retaliated saying that he was an American citizen because his mother was an American. Anyway, one has to wonder that if Cruz were born of an American mother in Russia, or Syria, or Zimbabwe, would we really be having this argument?

           

***

I heard that a giant bottle of Clorox by the name of Mr. Clorox B. Bleach had complained to the FCC about not being an anchor at the networks’ presidential debates. Mr. Bleach said that he’s the real white moderator and the others are light pink in comparison. He has filed an EEO charge. His case will be heard by Justice Antonin Scalia. It’s said that Mr. Clorox B. Bleach stated that just because NBC had African American Lester Holt moderate the latest presidential debate still didn’t make up this grave offense against him. He now wants to host the Oscars.

 

***

I frankly don’t understand why Black folks are getting upset over Antonin ‘Dred Scott’ Scalia suggesting that Black students should find a slower educational path in educational facilities befitting of their slower learning rate. Black folks should handle Scalia with utmost respect and simply say to him, “… and yo mammy!” 

 

***

 

When I heard that Antonin Scalia was the father of nine, I thought maybe if he’d taken a slower path to the bedroom…

 

***

I was wondering why Crest was sponsoring the Republican Party’s response to the State of the Union address. Then, I discovered that this was not their spokesperson. It was Nikki Haley.

 

***

 I heard that mainstream media has been taking the credit for breaking the story of contaminated water in Flint, Michigan’s predominantly Black neighborhoods. But wasn’t this story first hammered hard on TV One which kept hammering away until mainstream press decided to jump onboard and take over and make it a ‘legitimate’ story. Yeah, mainstream media coverage made it okay for the President and presidential candidates to weigh in. Mmmmm, I guess white politicians have yet to recognize the Black press and Black journalists as being a part of the Fourth Estate. What? Oh, I hear it now. They thought Black press was the Fourth Plantation.

 

***

Blacks in Flint, Michigan should have declared themselves Syrian refugees so that they could get clean water. Katrina victims couldn’t get water or food either for the longest time. Yes, it’s best that Black folks should reside in an enemy’s nation to get treated like a first class American citizen.

 

***

 

President Obama gave his final State of the Union address. Now, what did we learn from this about how the President views terrorism? What we learned is that this President resides on a strip of land between Oz and Wonderland called Delusion. I’m frightened, Aunt Em, I’m frightened!

 

***

 

Mmmm. I saw where the President praised a Syrian refugee he had there as an honored guest, which was fine. But—ta—but I didn’t see a family member of one of the nine Black victims killed in a Bible study class from Emanuel Church in the president’s box.

 

***

            President Obama recently gave a press conference on gun control and mounted further an ongoing campaign against the N.R.A., and guess what? The next day North Korea allegedly tested a hydrogen bomb. Hope, the Iranians didn’t take what they had left over to the North Koreans.  

 

            ***

            And speaking of the President and that gun violence press conference… Do you really want to see your president crying? Before the day was over every news media and viral media had a photo of Obama with big crocodile tears rolling down his eyes as family members of gun victims stood stoically behind him. Of course, it goes without saying that we all feel for these family members on losing their loved ones… but I ask you again at the risk of being politically incorrect, do you really want to see your president crying? Yes, it’s okay for others to cry publicly, but these folks are not the leader of the western world. I ask again, do you want to really, really want to see your Commander-in-Chief crying? Surely, this must be historical because throughout history, I don’t recall any president crying. Can you imagine Franklin Roosevelt, John Kennedy, Lyndon Johnson, Jimmy Carter, or Harry Truman crying? I did not see George W. Bush crying during 9-11? I certainly can’t imagine Ronald Reagan crying while uttering, “Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall!” One did not see Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. crying while he was leading the Selma march?  I didn’t see the president of France crying after the bombings in Paris. Did we see Jacqueline Kennedy crying? Did we see Coretta Scott King crying? Did we see Nelson Mandela crying?  Most people in leadership or role model capacities manage to hold themselves up because they know the world is watching them and looking to them for moral strength. To make matters worse, Obama being the nation’s first Black president and a Black male certainly didn’t help. Maybe the president felt that boo-hooing would make him seem less of a threatening Black male (Yes, I said it!). The mainstream press ate these crocodile tears up like liquid cookies. In mimicking Tom Hanks in “A League of Their Own”, “There’s no crying in public when you’re the president!”

 

***

 

            And speaking of crybabies, I saw where Rand Paul, bless his heart, couldn’t take being sent to his room for the debate. This was the room for those who didn’t quite make the big room cut for the debates. Rand “Baby Cakes” Paul hasn’t been heard from since. I didn’t see Carly Fiorina who has been relegated back and forth from the big debate room to the small debate room complaining.  Carly, get Baby Cakes his pacifier!

           

            ***

            I hear some demanding an answer from Donald Trump about white Klan-like folks robo-phoning other whites to vote for him. Well, Donald, you should take a page out of the Democrats’ playbook. Get their votes then ignore them once you’re in, just like the Democrats do Black voters once they’re in.

 

***

The Academy Award recently announced its nominees. There were no Blacks in the mix. The Academy is justifying this, saying that Sally Field was the only white to win an award for picking cotton (Places in the Heart) and this shows diversity. So, Will Smith shouldn’t feel bad. He portrayed a highly educated Black man who didn’t pick cotton or maybe it was an NFL conspiracy…

***

Oh, now there’s talk of African American actors boycotting the Academy Awards. Here we go again with the façade of white liberalism not being racist. When will Black Hollywood realize that the white Hollywood leadership follows the Jungle Jim model? It’s okay for Black actors to carry the load, as long as whites are in charge.

 

***

            I hear Chris Christie will be co-starring in the next “Ride Along” movie.

                       

            ***

 Jeb Bush and Ben Carson can’t bring themselves to realize that they will not become president because of former associations. What associations? You ask (or don’t ask). Ben Carson has yet to realize that it will be a mighty long time before there is another Black president, and he can blame that on President Barack Obama who was the ‘We got one’ category.  We all know about that “We got one?” category as that excuse for whites not dealing with too many Blacks at once. Now the ‘We got one’ is a practice handed down from Corporate America which translates into ‘We have done our affirmative action duty and hired our token.”  Jeb Bush can blame his father and brother (both named George) that there won’t be a third Bush. Jebbie is now hearing, “We had two.”

 

***

 

 I heard that if Hillary Clinton becomes president, she will be bringing back the position of Postmaster General to the president’s cabinet.

 

***

            Bernie Sanders needs to understand that ‘the rich will always be with you’.

 

***

 

            To African Americans, please pay attention to foreign policy. If this nation is ever attacked, your skin color won’t ‘matter’.

           

 ***

I heard that some members of Black Lives Matter offered to ride out to Oregon to support the Citizens for Constitutional Freedom. You know, that Oregon white militia group which is heavily armed and has been occupying a federal building for a couple of weeks now.   The Black Lives Matter reassured the militia that they will have no weaponry and will only chant: “Hands Up! Don’t Shoot!” However, while they were enroute there, I heard that the leader of the militia called them back and yelled: “Don’t you dare bring your group out here! You want to get us killed!”

 

            ***

 When shopping at Walmart, don’t go in there thinking it will take you a reasonable time to get out. Don’t complain about how long the lines are. Just get in one and plan to vacation there.  It’s called a stay-in-line vacation. You might even meet the Trivago man there.

 

***

 No matter how technologically sophisticated the world gets, there will always be a line to stand in.

 

***

 Interesting how Republican Party members can extend condolences to Parisians after terror attacks but could not extend condolences to the families of nine African American church members who were gunned down in a Bible study class for fear that they might offend their base. I’m just wondering what type of base is this and if it’s located where there’s fire and brimstone. 

 

***

            The white middle class has yet to realize that it has become America’s latest ‘Negro’ or that NAFTA really wasn’t an entitlement program for Black folks.

 

***

            Gee whiz, I wonder why no one has brought up the fact that NAFTA was passed in the Bill Clinton administration and was supported by both the Democrats and Republicans. Yes, NAFTA was even supported by some union leaders who threw their rank ‘n file under the bus while telling them rubber won’t hurt.

           

***

            They say that Ted Cruz is not liked by the establishment of the Republican Party. Is that really a negative?

 

***

           

Only white teens get affluenza. Do you think black and Hispanic teens can use poorenza as a defense? You know like in that they’re so poor that they don’t know right from wrong?

 

            ***

           

The New York Jets’ head coach is named ‘Todd’. Now this should be enough evidence for those who believe in a post-racial society that it has now come to past. Yes, Todd is a Black man. However, it is believed that Todd got this position solely through his application. There is the conspiracy theory that Todd’s credentials were excellent and because his name was Todd, the application was swiftly sent to the head honk—I mean honcho. It was said that Todd’s contract was either emailed to him without so much as an interview. When Todd showed up for his first meeting with the Jets, everyone from the players to management waited for over two hours until they heard someone timidly ask, “Wh-what are we waiting for?” “For Todd,” the head honk—I mean honcho replied. “I’m—a—I’m Todd.” Last I heard, those in the meeting, except for Todd, have taken roles in AMC’s “The Walking Dead.”

 

 ***

I heard Chris Christie has been seeing a psychiatrist to get over that awkward Archie Bunker/Sammy Davis, Jr. moment he had with President Obama.  This is the real reason why Christie has been losing weight. But there are rumors that Christie wants to be the New York Giants’ next head coach if this presidential thing doesn’t happen. He is sure he can beat Todd in shutting down lanes

 

***

  I heard that a member of the NRA shot a cloud and that this was the real reason for global warming. I mean the NRA is blamed for everything which ails America. So why not blame them for global warming?  This shot heard through the clouds was the real reason President Obama laid out climate control details in a press conference which again interrupted CBS’ “The Young & the Restless.” Of course, he or any other president wouldn’t think of interrupting the NFL playoffs for anything. Now being a girly girl non-sports sort of person, I would rather have him interrupt the NFL playoffs than my soaps. (Oh, do I hear threats being made against me…moving on. Quickly).

 

***

And speaking of talk…I thought when CBS’ “The Talk” returned for its new season last September that it would be re-titled “The Aisha Tyler vs. the Auctioneer Show”. But I understand that title was nixed because no one could find an auctioneer to keep up with her. To the ladies on “The View” and “The Real” bring on your own auctioneer and maybe you, too, can be nominated for an Emmy. Again, I’ve given up on seeing what the other ladies on The Talk have to say. They’re back in that mode of where they just let Aisha hog the show all in the name of being politically correct for fear if they told this Black woman that she breaks the speed of sound each time she opens her mouth that the NAACP will be after them. Oh dear, how can I forget? The NAACP gave this show an Image Award. I guess it pays not be Holly Robinson Peete who could sit and talk in a conversational tone. Holly, an African American Sarah Lawrence graduate, consummate actress, and businesswoman, will be starring in a series on OWN: Oprah Winfrey Network. Of course, we know she was kicked off the Talk for being for—for what – oh, what’s that word? ‘Overly qualified’.

 

 ***

            There’s some talk that Donald Trump is now painting Ted Cruz as an ‘anchor baby’.

 

***

 

 I see the Fox network is bringing in yet another sci-fi series. Don’t know what it is (Oh, someone said it was called “Second Chance”). But it doesn’t matter and I needn’t care, because I have learned that one mustn’t get involved in any Fox sci-fi series. This network will bring on a sci-fi show, let it stay for two seconds, yank it off with a hiatus which lasts forever, then   put it back on schedule on the 8th Day of the week at 100 O’clock. Just a warning.

 

***

             I see there are two new TV shows coming, “The Angel from Hell” on CBS and “Lucifer” on Fox. Looks the devil is getting his due.

           

            ***

  I didn’t know NBC had other programs until I saw the network promoting them around “The Wiz”. I enjoyed “The Wiz”, the Black version of “The Wizard of Oz” for those whites who were complaining about there being no Caucasians in this live TV event. As for myself, I can’t wait for the white version of “Porgy and Bess”.

 

***

 

            Speaking of NBC, I am now utterly confused because I no longer know that when “It’s Sunday, it’s Meet the Press”. Now this public affairs show comes on Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday.  I can’t handle the stress.

 

            ***

 

 Shush! Didn’t I just hear Jeb Bush whining to his campaign staff:  “What we gwine do now?” Someone has just whispered to him, “Let’s get Lindsey Graham to endorse you.” Who?

 

***

 Now I shall go into my office and sit on a raw egg. That should make some people happy. Maybe a lot?

 

 

 

        Africa States